Since Rob went I tried to make a good friendship in the Big Freeze (Quoted Sky News). My new friend could not move, actually he doesn’t have any legs, and his arms is too short on his white, ball formed body. No problem, differences cannot put obstacles in the way of a really good friendship!
But first we had some difficulties in our communication. When Rob was here he helped me to improve my English and I thought my new friend would do the same favour for me. However, it seemed to me, in short, my English is much better so I considered that it was my turn to give something back! I have patience, time is on my hands, what else do I need? But soon after I realised it led to a dead end, without answers to my efforts, it’s useless!
Okay, let’s do other thing. Body language is a boundless, independent at cultural background so I started teaching my friend how to surf. It seemed to me a brilliant idea, because after I took off the fins from my surfboard we could have done surfing on the slope behind the building where I live. I prepared to the next day, I checked the forecast as I do when I go out surfing. The wind is gentle, 5 mph, temperature is a cosy 8 Celsius, but I haven’t seen my new friend again...
Anyway, life is heroic. I do what I have to do here. Last time, I saw ten ninjas were attacking a young woman and her three children at St Peter’s Co-op in the car park. And I was there. You know people, they usually just try not to notice what can disturb their normal life. Ten ninjas could be very disturbing for them, as they are about to kill a young woman and her infants. So everybody was packing into their trunk, as if the ninja attack was as normal as staying half an hour inside the shop at the till. But I was there!
So many hours that I’ve spent watching Chuck Norris, Bruce Lee, Jean-Calude Van Damme and above all STEVEN SEAGAL in movies weren’t wasted! I could turn all the benefit that I got from them into real martial art skill in a sec. I don’t pull your time saying how I killed the faceless, cruel, well equipped fighting machines one by one. By now they all are in the morgue. But one of them could touch my face causing a bruise around my left eye. His death was very slow and painful. But it’s just enough to mention that after the bloody massacre people burst into a loud ovation. You know, when people don’t want to realise something and somebody stops the reason they are disturbed by then they are grateful. What is the moral? If you don’t want to be a hero don’t go shopping.
I hope this story is more enter-taining than putting down that the wind smashed my board in my face, and that caused the deep red mark around my eye...
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